Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Friends

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

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Dear Dr. M and Molly,
What do you do when you have two friends who are from two different circles of friends and they really don't get along and you are inviting them both to your birthday party. You don't think they will have any fun because they don't usually hang out with those people.

—Tristen, 11, Minnesota


	Dear Tristen, Those two friends may not get along, but that doesn't mean they won't have a good time at your birthday party. If you have fun activities, great snacks, and lots of other guests, your friends will each find other people to spend time with. You're doing the right thing by inviting both of them. Remember, it's your birthday—make sure you have fun, and let your friends figure out how they're going to enjoy the party.


	Dear Tristen, Maybe you could celebrate your birthday with each friend separately. Have one party with all of your friends, and the one friend who hangs out with those people. Tell your other friend that she is invited to the party, but let her know that the other person is invited. Say that she is welcome to come, but you understand if she would feel uncomfortable. If she chooses not to come, then you and she could do something fun another time to celebrate. If your friend knows that the other person is coming, she may know that she will feel uncomfortable and choose not to come. Let her know that you are not trying to not invite her but just want to make sure she is comfortable. Happy birthday!

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