Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Friends

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

Read more questions and answers in these categories:

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>	Boys

>	Family

>	Feelings

>	Friends

>	Schoolwork/Teachers

>	Other

Dear Dr. M,
I am sad, but I don't know why. On the outside, I'm happy, but inside I'm sad. There's nobody making me sad, but I don't have friends. That's the problem. I don't know what to do. Help me.

—Jasmin, 10, Texas


	Dear Jasmin, Everyone gets sad from time to time, particularly when something goes wrong, like a low grade or a friend moving away. You say that not having any friends is making you sad. Some kids have an easy time making friends, but others have to work harder at it. Here are some ideas for you to try. Say "hi" to a classmate who seems kind. The next day, you might ask her a simple question. That way, you are giving her the idea that you want to be her friend. See if you can arrange a time to get together with a classmate after school, maybe to work on a group project. That way, you won't have to worry about what to talk about. You might also ask a trusted adult what you might be doing that's preventing you from having friends. Use that information to act differently when you meet new people.


	Dear Jasmin, It's okay to be sad sometimes, but if you feel that way most of the time for more than a couple of weeks, then I think it's time to do something about it. Since you think the problem is that you don't really have friends, changing that will help you be happy on the inside as well as on the outside. I know that might sound like a very hard thing to do, but it's easier if you do it in steps. You can make a list of little things that you can do to make friends, like smile at someone in your class or say hi to someone new. Create small goals to follow with an end goal of making a new friend or two. It might take some time, but it'll be worth it.

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