Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Friends

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

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Dear Dr. M and Liz,
How do you talk to your worst enemy to become friends?

—Anneke, 10, United Kingdom


	Dear Anneke, Trying to become friends with someone who's now an enemy takes courage, which you seem to have. You didn't tell me why you are enemies, but you might tell her that you've been thinking about the conflict between the two of you and that you'd like to try to be friends instead of putting effort into continuing to be enemies. See what her reaction is. If it's positive, great—you're off to a brand new start. If her reaction is negative, well, at least you tried, and you can be proud of yourself for doing that.


	Dear Anneke, That's a hard thing to do, but it's good that you'd like to try. Most people just think about dealing with their enemies, rather than trying to turn them into friends. I admire your way of thinking. When you talk to your current enemy/future friend, try to find something the two of you have in common and focus on that instead of whatever disagreement made you enemies in the first place.

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