Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Feelings

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

Read more questions and answers in these categories:

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Dear Dr. M and Molly,
I love my Nana very much. But she's really embarrassing. Last night she took me shopping. I found a shirt I really liked and tried it on and showed it to her. She said, "That's nice. But maybe you need an extra-large. You've started puberty and will get larger breasts. You'll also get taller." She said that in front of the whole store. Everyone stared at me and laughed. Then she actually had the sales woman call her boss and see if they could ship an extra-large to me! Finally, my mother came in and said the shirt I had was fine. My grandmother does things like this whenever I see her! I tried talking to her, but she says she's not embarrassing and if I say that, she doesn't want to see me anymore. What can I do?!

—Lillian, 10, Wyoming


	Dear Lillian, It sounds like your grandmother is not particularly sensitive to your feelings. She seems to have forgotten what it's like to be your age. I can understand why you were embarrassed when she talked about your changing body in such a public way. Since you've already tried telling her not to embarrass you in that way, you might want to ask your mom to explain things to your grandmother. If that doesn't help, see if you can avoid going to public places with your grandmother for a while, but continue to see her at your house or hers. Maybe she'll get the message then.


	Dear Lillian, If your mother saw this incident, she probably saw how it embarrassed you. Talk to her since she may be able to find a kind way of telling your nana. Try to understand that your nana is not trying to embarrass you on purpose. She just may not realize that you are maturing so fast.

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