Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Family

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

Read more questions and answers in these categories:

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>	Boys

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Dear Dr. M and Liz,
I like this guy and he likes me back so we decided to be boyfriend-girlfriend. My problem is I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend, so we keep it a secret. I'm not sure whether to tell my mom or not. Please help me make the right decision.

—Worried, 12


	Dear Worried, Your understanding and your mom's understanding of what it means to have a boyfriend may be very different. She may be concerned that you're getting involved in something that you're not ready for. You, on the other hand, might simply think that having a boyfriend means that you like a boy and he likes you. Your mother might be okay with that definition of boyfriend. Keeping your relationship a secret from your mom can hurt the trust your mom has in you, and it will be hard to repair the damage. Also, think about how hard it would be to really enjoy having a boyfriend when you have to keep the information from your mom. Is it worth it?


	Dear Worried, First, you should talk to your mom about the specifics of her rule and why she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend. If she doesn't think you're responsible enough, prove to her that you are. Part of proving that you are mature includes telling your mom the truth and showing her that having a boyfriend doesn't mean you'll spend less time with your family or will do worse in school. Hopefully, you'll be able to convince your mom to let you have a boyfriend, but if not, respect her decision. Continue to act responsibly and don't whine and maybe she'll change her mind.

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