Girls Only: Ask Dr. M: Bullying

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Dr. M is the author of five advice books, including Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself, both written with her teenage daughter. Dr. M shares this advice column with Molly, a middle school student who loves to play soccer, dance, write and spend time with her friends.

Dear Dr. M and Liz,
A boy in my class, Adam, makes fun of my best friend. He also makes rude comments to her. I feel really sorry for her, but neither of us have the courage to tell him to stop. What should we do?

—Shelby, 8, Maryland


	Dear Shelby, Your friend will probably feel better about herself if she does confront Adam directly. You can help her to do that by practicing with her. You could pretend to be Adam. You might even suggest some words she can use to talk to him, something simple such as: "I don't like it when you tease me. Stop doing that." If your friend still can't bring herself to deal with Adam directly, you could suggest that she write a note and leave it for him. Adam needs to get the message that what he's doing isn't right.


	Dear Shelby, You and your friend might not have the courage to tell him on your own that he should stop, but maybe if the two of you do it together, that will make it easier. If that doesn't work, then he probably isn't going to respond to being told what to do. He might just be saying mean things to your friend to get a reaction out of her, so the best thing to do in that case is to just ignore him until he stops.

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