Don't Have a Boyfriend?

No Big Deal, Neither do Tons of Other Really Cool Girls!

By Eliza Berry

When Hayley, 11, wrote to Dr. M., she said, "I have a HUGE problem. I've never had a boyfriend. All my friends are going on about theirs and if they don't have one, they have boys trying to go out with them. It's not fair."

Have you ever been in a situation similar to Hayley's?

Dr. M gets questions everyday from girls saying they are bummed out because they've never had a boyfriend, but their friends have. If there are so many girls writing in with this same complaint, this means that there are actually tons of girls out there without boyfriends.

It's hard to feel like you're the only one who is not noticed by boys, especially if your close friends seem to be getting tons of boy attention. But, if you think of girls outside your group of closest girl friends (maybe someone in another class at school, someone on your sports team or a cousin), you probably know some really cool, fun, nice, cute girls that do not have boyfriends either. There's nothing wrong with you or any of those other girls. In fact, you can probably come up with a list of positive traits that you share with girls who do not have boyfriends.

Try not to let thoughts of boys get to you. If you become too focused on trying to get boys to like you, you run the risk of getting so nervous around them that you can't even be friends with them.

So…what can you do instead of worrying about your crush?

• Put your attention on making as many non-romantic friendships as you can with both guys and girls. Do new things with old and new friends—play a fun game you've never played before during lunch; if you never invite friends to go out for ice cream after school on Friday, do it. When you're having a great time and meeting new people, your worries about searching for romance will start to go away.
  
  
• If possible, try hanging out with kids from different schools through sports teams, after school programs, or organizations like the Girl Scouts. Kids are usually only experts on the social scene at their own school, not other schools. It's boring to talk about who is dating who in your class with people who do not know most of your classmates. So your talks will start to focus on things other than the latest news in the dating scene. How refreshing!
  
  
• Finally, when you spend time with that group of girl friends who love to talk about their boyfriends, tell them what's up. Explain that while you are happy to get a quick update on what's going on with their boyfriends, you are sure that there are lots of other interesting things going on in their lives that you would also love to discuss with them

Want to tell the world about YOUR Girl Scouting experience? "Share the News" and send your story to us at share@gogirlsonly.org!

Don't forget to include your name and age.
We look forward to hearing from you!

― The Girls Only Team